blue_icy_rose

Title: Darkness I Live In
Rating: R
Pairing: Buffy/Dean
Summary: After a demon attack, Buffy wakes up with no memories except her name and begins to travel with Dean and Sam. While on the road, Buffy and Dean grow closer. Post Chosen. (I so suck at summaries, lol.)
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them. Buffy belongs to Joss Whedon and the Winchesters belong to Eric Kripke. (Lucky bastards.) All the dialogue in Buffy's memory flashes are from various episodes. The title of the story was inspired by Mary Lou Von Meter's poem, Heart of Darkness. Banner made by the awesome Mel. ^_^
Author's Note: This is my response to chosenfire's Memories Forgotten challenge at Route 66. If you'd like to see the requirements for the challenge, go here. You can also find this at Twisting the Hellmouth. This new chapter was written for

tamingthemuse (prompt: mime). Enjoy and feedback's always welcome!

Banner by

avamclean

Previous Chapters

The room was quiet when Buffy walked in and she paused, giving Sam and Dean a small smile before heading towards the bathroom. Sam opened his mouth to say something, stopping when he saw Dean shake his head with a look on his face that clearly said to leave it alone.

Once Sam had turned back to their dad’s journal, Dean glanced towards the bathroom door, a frown on his face. He’d seen the faint tear tracks on Buffy’s face and it didn’t take a genius to know she was doing whatever she could to get rid of them while in the bathroom. He shook his head. He hated feeling like this – part of him wanted to ask her what it was she’d remembered, if it’d been something huge or if it was just one thing too many and this latest memory had been the one to push her over the edge. The other part of him wasn’t going to push. Doing that would probably only piss her off or something and that really wouldn’t help anyone.

The sound of the doorknob turning had him quickly turning back to the laptop. A moment later, Buffy stepped out and made her way to the table, sliding into the seat across from Dean and grabbing a book. The silence continued until Buffy sighed.

“I can actually feel your eyes on me, you know.” She turned, a slight smile on her face. “What is it?”

Sam blinked and looked slightly embarrassed over getting caught before returning her smile with one of his own. “I was just wondering if you were okay now,” he said. Across from Buffy, Dean tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling, shaking his head.

Buffy thought about it for a moment and then shrugged. “I’m as good as I’m going to get, I think.” Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Dean mime slapping a person while looking at Sam and grinned. “Dean, I can see you.”

He stopped and looked embarrassed for a moment. Then the look disappeared and he shrugged. “I was trying not to bring it up,” was all he said.

She smiled. “Thank you.”

Dean didn’t answer though the half smile he gave her in return was enough.

~*~*~

“Anything?” Dean asked.

“Maybe.” Sam gestured for Dean to switch him spots. “I’ll have to check something first. Just to be sure.” Once Dean had moved, Sam took his seat and quickly began typing, going through different sites that he’d bookmarked.

Buffy blinked. “Well, I guess that means I can stop what I’m doing.” She leaned back. “At least until we know.”

Dean snorted. “You’re just looking for a reason to get out of research.”

She gave him a blank look. “Well, yeah.”

He laughed at her absolute lack of denial. “Come here,” he said, sitting on the bed and pulling out a couple of guns. As he waited, he began to take out everything they’d need. “I’m going to show you how to clean a gun the right way.”

Quickly, Buffy moved so that she was sitting next to him on the bed. She watched as he went through a process that came so naturally to him, he could probably do it in his sleep. “Nifty.”

Dean smirked at the word and then turned his head so that he was looking at her and held out one of the guns he’d taken out. “You can start with this one.” He watched the way the her eyes lit up and grinned, remembering the way the same look had appeared on Sam’s face the first time he’d been allowed to clean a gun on his own.

Of course, it wasn’t too long after that that Sam had decided he preferred the research side of things.

“You have to make sure to take care of your gun,” he said. “You don’t clean it and it could jam. It jams and you’re screwed when you try to fire at a spirit or a demon.”

Buffy took this in and then nodded. “Okay, then you better make sure I get this right,” she told him, her tone light. Biting her lip, she began the process of cleaning a gun for the first time in her life.

~*~*~

“I got it,” Sam announced. He glanced over and grinned when he saw Buffy sitting back with a smug look on her face while Dean grinned back at her. Obviously the gun cleaning had gone well.

Dean moved his gun to the side. “What are we dealing with, Sam?”

“Waterspirits, more specifically the Waktcéxi. There’s good and bad versions of them and it’s looking like we’re dealing with the bad.” He paused. “I haven’t found much on how to kill them but from what I have found, it looks like finding their lair and burning it, and them, should do it.”

“So a typical salt and burn without the salt.”

“Basically. But there’s one other thing I have to do to be absolutely sure that we’re dealing with the Waktcéxi and that’s get a look at the bodies. They leave behind a white clay when they, well, eat.”

Buffy made a face. “That’s just gross.”

Dean looked at the clock. “You should probably go tonight.” He glanced at Sam. “The faster we know, the faster we can figure out where its lair is,” he said. He snickered at that. He’d tried, really, to keep a straight face but lair? Jesus, how cartoon villain could they get?

“Dean,” Sam sighed. He shook his head. “Quit laughing about it.”

Buffy stared between the two, a frown on her face. She had no idea what they were talking about and she couldn’t quite figure out just when she’d missed a step in the conversation.

“Dude, lair. It’s like talking about rescuing Princess Peach from King Koopa or something.”

Buffy couldn’t help but laugh at that and she grinned. “Sorry,” she said off of their looks. “It just sounds funny. Princess Peach and King Koopa?”

Dean nodded. “It’s from a game that became a cartoon for awhile. And they made some shit movies from it too. Super Mario Brothers. Basically, Mario and Luigi are trying to rescue the Princess from Koopa.”

“Huh.” She considered this. “Sounds kind of fun.”

Sam shook his head, a corner of his mouth tilting up as he moved to put on the suit he’d hung on the back of the bathroom door. Buffy’s reactions to things never failed to amuse him, though he wouldn’t have been able to explain why.

~*~*~

“People really watch this?” Buffy asked, staring at the screen. Dean nodded.

“Yeah.”

“But why? What’s the point?”

He shrugged. “Watching other people humiliate themselves just so they can try to win cash and acting like you’d never do anything like that.”

She watched as a woman began eating worms and gagged. “World of no.”

Dean looked at her from the corner of his eye and fought the urge to grin. “Want me to change it?” he asked. She nodded.

“Definitely.”

Now he gave in and laughed as he began flipping through channels before stopping on a movie channel. “Here’s a good one. This chick is crazy and obsessed with this writer and when she finds him after he’s in an accident, she keeps him locked up so he’ll write a book just for her.” Off of Buffy’s look, he lifted a shoulder. “Trust me.”

She stared at him for a moment and then nodded. “Okay.”

Dean paused as he lowered the remote, recognizing the double meaning of the exchange. He looked over to see if Buffy had done it deliberately and saw the way she focused on the screen, a knowing smile on her face. A small smile appeared on his face as he dropped the remote and turned towards the screen.

~*~*~

The movie was almost over by the time Sam came back. He tilted his head at the way Buffy and Dean were laying on the bed, each stretched out with their heads on opposite ends, as they watched a movie.

“Well, we dealing with the wata-whatever or is it back to research?” Dean asked, turning towards Sam.

“It’s Waktcéxi. There was white clay around the holes in both their heads.” Sam sighed. “I managed to get in to talk to the detective as well. You’re the only ones that he has statements from though he said they’re still investigating a third set of footprints that were found in the area.” Sam grinned as Dean shook his head. “They’re hoping it’s a witness or the killer.”

“When really it’s their handy dandy federal agent.”

“What they don’t know won’t hurt us.”

“So, we’re going to look for the lair tomorrow?” Buffy asked.

“Yeah.” Dean nodded. “The sooner we find it, the sooner we can kill it.”

“And that means less people die,” Sam added. Buffy nodded and then gestured for Sam to sit down.

“Come on, the movie’s almost over but it’s a marathon.” She smiled. “Take the rest of the night off,” she told him.

Sam shrugged out of the suit jacket and tossed it over a chair, already tugging the tie he’d loosened in the car over his head, before dropping onto the other bed. He couldn’t stop the small smirk as he glanced over at the other bed.

Those two were so clueless.