I seriuosly need to calm down.

No really. I've been awake since before six. I went to bed fairly late (well, early in the morning actually) and it took forever to fall asleep. So, I'm running on a couple hours sleep here. Why?

Because I realized that I have a huge phobia of getting up in front of a group of people. Oh I know some people will say it's just a little fear or me being nervous but I doubt that would have me wanting to throw up since yesterday. I mean the last time I had to get up in front of a group of people for this long was in freshman year of high school. Sure, I've had to get up in front of people since then but only for a couple minutes and only for a quick presentation or, when I was in the sorority, to give my report and take attendance. That was it.

But this? This is me getting in front of the class and sitting there for 10-20 minutes as they criticize something I wrote and tell me what's wrong with it. And I know my professor says not to take it personal because it's just our writing and not us but my writing is me. And yeah, it was just an essay on a poem but the point is that it's still something I wrote. It's still my words, my thoughts and I'm supposed to act like it's not...me? I don't think so.

Yeah. So I hadn't remembered how bad this phobia was until now. And now I'm dreading that in a couple of weeks I have to get up in front of a different class and give a 10 minute presentation.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go continue freaking out and probably acting like a moron as I do.

I seriuosly need to calm down.

No really. I've been awake since before six. I went to bed fairly late (well, early in the morning actually) and it took forever to fall asleep. So, I'm running on a couple hours sleep here. Why?

Because I realized that I have a huge phobia of getting up in front of a group of people. Oh I know some people will say it's just a little fear or me being nervous but I doubt that would have me wanting to throw up since yesterday. I mean the last time I had to get up in front of a group of people for this long was in freshman year of high school. Sure, I've had to get up in front of people since then but only for a couple minutes and only for a quick presentation or, when I was in the sorority, to give my report and take attendance. That was it.

But this? This is me getting in front of the class and sitting there for 10-20 minutes as they criticize something I wrote and tell me what's wrong with it. And I know my professor says not to take it personal because it's just our writing and not us but my writing is me. And yeah, it was just an essay on a poem but the point is that it's still something I wrote. It's still my words, my thoughts and I'm supposed to act like it's not...me? I don't think so.

Yeah. So I hadn't remembered how bad this phobia was until now. And now I'm dreading that in a couple of weeks I have to get up in front of a different class and give a 10 minute presentation.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go continue freaking out and probably acting like a moron as I do.