Hoo boy....
Dec. 16th, 2005 05:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blue_icy_roseFeeling: 
frustrated
Why am I frustrated? Let's just say it started with a phone call while I was IMing with Luna...
I know. I'm frustrated over someone's relationship and it's not even mine. But that's besides the point. The point is that earlier today I get a call from Shorty. (Jade, quit rolling your eyes or at least fight the urge...I just know you're dying to, lol.) It wasn't a regular call either.
No, when I pick up Shorty is sobbing so badly that I can't understand a word out of her mouth while she tries to tell me what's wrong.
Apparently, she and D got in another fight. And it seems that D's broken up with her, possibly for good. Who knows? We'll see. But, here's what happened for those of you interested.
They both work. And I guess Shorty told D that if she got off at regular time from work, she'd drive up here for a few days and visit, bringing their dog with her. Turns out that she has to work until 10:00 so she called to let D know. (And remember, I haven't talked to D at all, so I don't know what she's thinking or her side of the story. I'm going off what I've been told.) D was not pleased, to say the least, since Shorty was supposed to come up over Thanksgiving break as well but didn't. Not to mention that they were already on shaky ground because over said break, Shorty cheated. Since then, she's been working on winning D's trust back and I think a large part of that would have happened if she'd come up.
But she's already not gone to work so many times to spend time with D (something D is equally guilty of...they have both called in sick just so they could spend time together) that she now can't risk calling in on Saturday because she might lose her job. She also has to train the new receptionist (she works at a department store in the mall). This is what she told D, who replied by saying she doesn't think that Shorty wants to be with her. She feels that Shorty always put her second after everything. (To those of you who haven't heard the entire epic that is their relationship this may seem unreasonable. But there are reasons she feels this way, believe me. For me to go into it would take forever and would probably be too long to post.) She is also upset that Shorty doesn't want to tell her parents right now. This is the point where I get a little iffy. I understand what Shorty said about not wanting to tell them around the holidays but Shorty also said she thinks that they know anyway. Here is where I explained to her that yes, they probably know since neither Shorty nor D is known for being subtle about this, no matter how hard they try. But despite the fact that they already know, D wants Shorty to be able to say it and she's upset because Shorty keeps putting it off. I think I finally got Shorty to understand that.
Anyway! Off of that tangent and back to the whole losing her job thing. See, most would be like whatever, right? Just ask for help from the parentals or get a new job. That's not the case with Shorty who's parents have pretty much decided it's time for her to pay her own way. So she loses the job, she has to move out. She doesn't want to move out because she loves living with D. (D would be one of my roommates. They share the master bedroom.) D doesn't understand this because she says that she's taken off work to go see Shorty. Again, true. But again, the opposite is also true. (I'm trying to represent both sides of the story...hopefully it's working because I've only talked to one of them today.) She said that she could still come up to see D but it wouldn't be until around January 6th since that's the soonest she can get off because, well hey, holiday season and all. She's stay until the 10th. D didn't want to hear any of it.
Ah! There was also the whole thing that D told Shorty she's miserable. Shorty told D to just come back (meaning for the rest of the break or until Christmas if she wanted to spend that with her family which is what most likely would happen) and not just for a short visit. But D said she couldn't because of her hectic work schedule and Shorty said she can't come up because of her work schedule.
Well, apparently, D sounded completely emotionless when talking to Shorty afterwards telling her that she'll still be happy to room with her and maybe be friends but she doesn't want to be with her. Then she hung up. This is the point where Shorty called me.
And let me tell you when someone is sobbing her heart out over the phone, it is really hard to try and offer advice, comfort, or really do anything. At least for me. Because I like to see the people. What the hell good am I going to do if I can't be there to at least put an arm around the person? I don't know.
She called me because she had no idea what to do. Said she knows that it was stupid and wrong for her to cheat and that she knows D deserves someone better than her but she doesn't want to lose her. Basically I told her that yeah, it had been stupid and all that. D decided to give her another chance but she had to earn her trust back. So, since they'd actually seemed to be making progress before we left for break, I told her it was good she was trying. But my final advice was pretty much telling her that the two needed to take some time. I also told her that either way, they need to sit down, face to face and not over the phone, and have a long ass talk because if they break up for good and Shorty continues to live there it could get way awkward. So, I told her that they had lots of stuff that needed to be talked about because they both tend to just let things build until they explode. Hopefully it'll help in either situation.
Did it help? I don't know. I do know that by the time I hung up with her, Shorty had stopped crying and was calm enough to go to work. I think she'll take my advice since she realized that right now is not the best time to try and talk to D. She may see if D wants her to come up on the 6th if things are calmer and all that. I'm just glad that I was able to calm her down because she is still my friend, despite the fact that yes, she has treated D like shit before. D's been my friend longer though and I have to say most of my loyalty lies with her. Whether that's wrong or not, I don't know. I do know that it's frustrating to not have both sides of the story for once because I usually do since I live with the both of them. Hopefully I managed to get at least a bit of D's side of the story in here somewhere because really, I don't want this to be biased.
There's just way too many thoughts on this relationship since I know if anyone other than Jade, or possibly Luna, reads this they won't know the history of what's happened and it's hard to try and get both sides across without interjecting my own thoughts on what's happened before so neither one comes out looking like a raging bitch or something. Like I said, hopefully I managed that.
Now that I've rambled on about that, I'm off to put on my make-up. My mom and her BF are coming home soon and after that we're going out to dinner. Am I ready? Sort of. But I've been helping out by wrapping Mom's gifts that she needs to send out so I have to finish one last one before I can finish getting ready.
Oh! On a happier note! I gotmidnight_divine's Christmas card yesterday, so yay! And my cards went out yesterday...or got put in the mail yesterday and went out today because I missed the mail person yesterday. So those of you that I'm sending cards to should get them within the next few days I hope!
Until next time folks...
frustratedWhy am I frustrated? Let's just say it started with a phone call while I was IMing with Luna...
I know. I'm frustrated over someone's relationship and it's not even mine. But that's besides the point. The point is that earlier today I get a call from Shorty. (Jade, quit rolling your eyes or at least fight the urge...I just know you're dying to, lol.) It wasn't a regular call either.
No, when I pick up Shorty is sobbing so badly that I can't understand a word out of her mouth while she tries to tell me what's wrong.
Apparently, she and D got in another fight. And it seems that D's broken up with her, possibly for good. Who knows? We'll see. But, here's what happened for those of you interested.
They both work. And I guess Shorty told D that if she got off at regular time from work, she'd drive up here for a few days and visit, bringing their dog with her. Turns out that she has to work until 10:00 so she called to let D know. (And remember, I haven't talked to D at all, so I don't know what she's thinking or her side of the story. I'm going off what I've been told.) D was not pleased, to say the least, since Shorty was supposed to come up over Thanksgiving break as well but didn't. Not to mention that they were already on shaky ground because over said break, Shorty cheated. Since then, she's been working on winning D's trust back and I think a large part of that would have happened if she'd come up.
But she's already not gone to work so many times to spend time with D (something D is equally guilty of...they have both called in sick just so they could spend time together) that she now can't risk calling in on Saturday because she might lose her job. She also has to train the new receptionist (she works at a department store in the mall). This is what she told D, who replied by saying she doesn't think that Shorty wants to be with her. She feels that Shorty always put her second after everything. (To those of you who haven't heard the entire epic that is their relationship this may seem unreasonable. But there are reasons she feels this way, believe me. For me to go into it would take forever and would probably be too long to post.) She is also upset that Shorty doesn't want to tell her parents right now. This is the point where I get a little iffy. I understand what Shorty said about not wanting to tell them around the holidays but Shorty also said she thinks that they know anyway. Here is where I explained to her that yes, they probably know since neither Shorty nor D is known for being subtle about this, no matter how hard they try. But despite the fact that they already know, D wants Shorty to be able to say it and she's upset because Shorty keeps putting it off. I think I finally got Shorty to understand that.
Anyway! Off of that tangent and back to the whole losing her job thing. See, most would be like whatever, right? Just ask for help from the parentals or get a new job. That's not the case with Shorty who's parents have pretty much decided it's time for her to pay her own way. So she loses the job, she has to move out. She doesn't want to move out because she loves living with D. (D would be one of my roommates. They share the master bedroom.) D doesn't understand this because she says that she's taken off work to go see Shorty. Again, true. But again, the opposite is also true. (I'm trying to represent both sides of the story...hopefully it's working because I've only talked to one of them today.) She said that she could still come up to see D but it wouldn't be until around January 6th since that's the soonest she can get off because, well hey, holiday season and all. She's stay until the 10th. D didn't want to hear any of it.
Ah! There was also the whole thing that D told Shorty she's miserable. Shorty told D to just come back (meaning for the rest of the break or until Christmas if she wanted to spend that with her family which is what most likely would happen) and not just for a short visit. But D said she couldn't because of her hectic work schedule and Shorty said she can't come up because of her work schedule.
Well, apparently, D sounded completely emotionless when talking to Shorty afterwards telling her that she'll still be happy to room with her and maybe be friends but she doesn't want to be with her. Then she hung up. This is the point where Shorty called me.
And let me tell you when someone is sobbing her heart out over the phone, it is really hard to try and offer advice, comfort, or really do anything. At least for me. Because I like to see the people. What the hell good am I going to do if I can't be there to at least put an arm around the person? I don't know.
She called me because she had no idea what to do. Said she knows that it was stupid and wrong for her to cheat and that she knows D deserves someone better than her but she doesn't want to lose her. Basically I told her that yeah, it had been stupid and all that. D decided to give her another chance but she had to earn her trust back. So, since they'd actually seemed to be making progress before we left for break, I told her it was good she was trying. But my final advice was pretty much telling her that the two needed to take some time. I also told her that either way, they need to sit down, face to face and not over the phone, and have a long ass talk because if they break up for good and Shorty continues to live there it could get way awkward. So, I told her that they had lots of stuff that needed to be talked about because they both tend to just let things build until they explode. Hopefully it'll help in either situation.
Did it help? I don't know. I do know that by the time I hung up with her, Shorty had stopped crying and was calm enough to go to work. I think she'll take my advice since she realized that right now is not the best time to try and talk to D. She may see if D wants her to come up on the 6th if things are calmer and all that. I'm just glad that I was able to calm her down because she is still my friend, despite the fact that yes, she has treated D like shit before. D's been my friend longer though and I have to say most of my loyalty lies with her. Whether that's wrong or not, I don't know. I do know that it's frustrating to not have both sides of the story for once because I usually do since I live with the both of them. Hopefully I managed to get at least a bit of D's side of the story in here somewhere because really, I don't want this to be biased.
There's just way too many thoughts on this relationship since I know if anyone other than Jade, or possibly Luna, reads this they won't know the history of what's happened and it's hard to try and get both sides across without interjecting my own thoughts on what's happened before so neither one comes out looking like a raging bitch or something. Like I said, hopefully I managed that.
Now that I've rambled on about that, I'm off to put on my make-up. My mom and her BF are coming home soon and after that we're going out to dinner. Am I ready? Sort of. But I've been helping out by wrapping Mom's gifts that she needs to send out so I have to finish one last one before I can finish getting ready.
Oh! On a happier note! I got
midnight_divine's Christmas card yesterday, so yay! And my cards went out yesterday...or got put in the mail yesterday and went out today because I missed the mail person yesterday. So those of you that I'm sending cards to should get them within the next few days I hope!Until next time folks...
