This? Is so not going to work.

[blue_icy_rose]

It's only my second day working at the store over here and I already feel the need to quit. I mean, seriously, what the hell?

Today, I got a talk about how I really need to move faster because we're supposed to be out of there by 9:30, 10:00 by the latest. And it was only me and a manager closing today. My duties? I was the only cashier for one, which talk about a pain in the ass. Then there was about ten baskets (the handheld ones, not sohpping carts) full to the brim with stuff on the floor and in between customers, I'm supposed to put all that away as well as pick up stuff around the front of the store, on the registers and take out the trash. All of this I am supposed to have done by 9:00 so that I can take that last half hour to just put anything extra away and so that I can mop.

Okay, I'm sorry that I don't know the store that well yet so I don't put stuff away as fast as I could be doing. But it's not like I'm not trying. Twice I had to be called to my register because I was out in the store putting stuff away - the rest of the times, I had to keep running back and forth to be sure I didn't have customers. So no one can tell me I'm not trying to do the work. When I get someone at the register, I'm supposed to drop everything and go take care of them, which is fine because, hey, it's retail. Whatever.

I have no idea what the manager was doing the whole five hours I was there but she said something about picking up around the store and I did see her going around the store but damn. I don't know what the hell else she was doing but she wasn't happy that the store doesn't look good and the district manager is showing up tonight sometime or tomorrow. And she brought in all the pallets of stuff from outside which took about 25 minutes. But I've got to say it. Maybe things would go faster if you weren't on your phone. It's just a thought.

On top of this, I'm supposed to keep track of how much money I have in my till and once it gets around $200 or $250, I'm supposed to call the manager and say "I need a seven." Whatever that means. I did that twice and I don't know what they do when that happens but the first time I did that? The manager freaking forgot! Um, hello? So tonight I got a verbal warning tonight because even after two pick ups, I had about $200 in my drawer. Hell, that alone should tell me that this won't work. Three written warnings and you get let go. And I'm crap at math and I get all caught up in the big ass lines that build up because even when I call for back up at the register, I don't always get it. Once, she came after I called and looked to see if the line was long enough to warrant the call for back up. The line went back to the start of the aisles, I think it was reasonable to say I needed help. Hell, there were a couple times where she was by the baskets and I could actually feel her watching me.

Twice while I was at the register, I had to stop and read someone's school schedule for her because I guess they were trying to figure out who could work and when. After closing, I walked the whole store, picked up whatever was on the floor and put it on the shelves and then started trying to finish returning the stuff in the basket. The whole time I can hear her telling me to hurry up. But instead of trying to pick up the part of the store that I haven't done, she goes back over the part that I have done. Oh, I know, she probably has to check to be sure I didn't miss anything but she didn't make an appearance on the side of the store that I was on. It got to the point where I wasn't even putting things back in the right spots, I was just throwing it on shelves in the area it was supposed to go and I still didn't finish because partway through she called me over to mop. Now to give her credit, she started the mopping for me but she only did the very front (as in, in front of the registers) and then she hands me the mop and says "Get it done in five minutes because after that I'm gone." Yeah, mop the rest of the store in five minutes. Sure.

Maybe this wouldn't seem so bad but it seems like the store I transferred from was more on top of things because I never had this many returns and the mopping got done during the day in the areas that needed it and otherwise it was just use the big sweeper/vaccuum thing. (They only have a vaccuum here.) Then again, over there, the manager would take me off the register every now and then and give me time to actually get some of the returns done while they worked the register.

And to make my work day even sunnier, I didn't get a break. I didn't get a break on my first day either when I worked an hour overtime. I found out today that drinks aren't allowed at the register for the cashiers (God forbid we get thirsty) and if we do, we call the manager, wait and tell them we need a drink, run to the back where the lockers are, take a drink and then run back up front. If we need a break, we have to do the same process but we're not guaranteed a break. Exact words were "Tell us if you need a break and we'll try to give you one." So yeah, I'd love to say that I need a break and maybe use that break to do returns but I don't have time to stop and say "Hey, I need a break because I'm doing all this crap in between things." Even over there, I would sometimes go without breaks but at least the managers were good enough to say "Hey, take ten." Okay maybe I shouldn't complain about this one because I can ask for a break, I just don't feel like I should or can.

But what really makes me feel like this isn't going to work is that I feel stupid. At least with this manager. And I don't think she means to, it's just she expects certain things and I don't know what they are and so they have to be explained to me but the look on her face when she has to do it makes me feel like I'm an idiot. The other manager told me, "I forget and I just assume you know so just remind me that you're new and we do things differently at this store and it won't be a problem." I fully admit that I may like her a bit more since she let me use her locker as well because none of the others are free except the one for supplies but the manager I worked with today said that she'd have to call and see if I could have that one. Or they have to ask if they can open one of the other lockers for me that have been closed with those plastic seals that can only be cut off.

I don't know. I'm just frustrated I guess because I shouldn't feel this way. I shouldn't ask my roommate to call up work and tell them I died of a horrible disease just so I won't have to go in. (Which, yes, I told her this morning she should do that.) I shouldn't feel sick to my stomach at the thought of going to work and I shouldn't feel like a moron for having to ask questions or feel like I'm too lazy because I can't get everything done and that's what I feel like.

*sigh* But this is only the second day right? It'll hopefully get better if I get in the swing of things and settle into a routine. So I'm giving it another few weeks and if things don't improve I'll give my two weeks notice and tell them that it's just not working out. I'm also using these few weeks to see if it'll interfere with my schoolwork because if it does (and if I keep having to close and staying late when I have an early class the next day) then I'm gone. Because I'm sorry, I'll feel bad about leaving but I'm not sacrificing my GPA for a job that was only supposed to be a summer job anyway. Bitchy? Maybe. But at that the moment, I think it's perfectly reasonable.

Well, that is, unless I get those three warnings and get let go. That'd just be my luck. My next application would read: "Reason for leaving: Let go for not being able to do math." or something. *facepalm*

To cap it all off? I almost got hit by a car twice when I was going to work. Yeah, my shift just started out peachy. The highlight of my day was getting my check from financial aid and seeing the puppy again. (Who is currently attacking her pillow as if it's the most evil thing on the planet and running into furniture because she's running too fast.) Oh and sitting by the cute guy during my NM Law class. The highlight of work? The little boy who was way shy about asking where the AA batteries were and then thanking me all happy when I showed him. The highlight of work the first day? Helping the cute tennis player with the foreign accent look for a can opener. But really, I shouldn't hope for stuff like this to happen every day because I'm not feeling optimistic at the moment. Usually I can see the bright side of pretty much any situation or find something to laugh about but for some reason, I just can't. I don't know why. Maybe I'm just letting myself get down for stupid reasons, who knows? But positve, optimistic attitude is not one of the things happening.

Now I have homework to do, a couple of fics to finish and a puppy to play with because she's been alone since 3:30.

Sorry for the long rant and hnb (sorry that was the dog deciding she should have her say) bitchfest but I just needed to get it off my chest. Because sometimes, damn it, I don't want to be the person who always has a smile on her face and I don't want to always talk about it. And if you made through this entire thing, hats off to you and I'd send you a cookie if I could, lol.